Randy Orton Isn’t A Fan Of All The Penises On TV Shows

When you’re Randy Orton sitting down for a quiet evening, watching some TV, maybe with a glass of wine, it’s important to consider how much penis is really too much?

While it’s often been said that it’s difficult to turn on the TV and not see some form of violence or swearing, apparently there is a new menace sweeping our screens. Penises. And one man in particular isn’t happy about it.

Speaking on her Wives of Wrestling podcast, alongside Giovanna Angle (wife of Kurt Angle) Kim Orton has revealed her delight at watching her husband Randy get uncomfortable as the plague of penises parades across his television.

Mrs Orton explained that she had noticed “dicks were everywhere,” adding she had seen them in “every show” she and Randy sat down to watch. Not that the WWE star was enjoying the experience.

“Let’s talk about dicks,”

“I cannot believe all the dicks that I’ve been seeing on TV. Have you guys noticed there are dicks everywhere? Every show that me and Randy have been watching, literally, there are five to fifty fucking penises on the show, dangling around, jumping up and down, doing like a thing. It’s so great to peek over and watch the uncomfortableness that Randy is feeling.”

When asked which shows she had been watching, Kim Orton singled out Euphoria. She then went on to ponder the casting process behind selecting the appropriate penis for the occasion, ultimately concluding that “penises are funny.”

“Euphoria was one. They’re walking through the locker room, they’re on a football team, and everyone is like ‘Yay! Yay!’ Dicks, flopping everywhere. We started a new show, Minx, the first or second episode, there are dicks everywhere. I go to Randy and go, ‘can you imagine the casting call for that? Send in the 20 guys, okay, drop your drawers, jingle them for me, jump up and down. Two, three, seven, you stayed. Everyone else, go home.’ Penises are funny. They’re all so different.”

Randy Orton was most recently in action at WrestleMania 38, where he and his partner Riddle were left standing tall over the opposition as they retained the Raw Tag Team Titles.

H/t to Fightful for the transcription.