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CM Punk Blasts Wrestler’s Court – “Most Insecure Small D*ck Energy Embrassment”

CM Punk

CM Punk didn’t hold back when making his feelings known about the much-fabled practice of Wrestler’s Court during his time in WWE.

Wrestler’s Court has become the stuff of legend amongst WWE fans as they’ve learned more about the practice of self policing in the locker room. Meant as a fun way to settle differences, Wrestler’s Court would take to task both on-screen talent and WWE writers alike.

However, current AEW star CM Punk made it known in a recent Twitter post that he doesn’t find Wrestler’s Court to be all fun and games. In fact, he disparaged the concept unequivocally after a fan took him to task for a tongue-in-cheek request that Adam Page lend him some chaps after the Voice of the Voiceless had praised WWE Hall of Famer Barry Windham’s style earlier in the day.

After humorously tweeting the current AEW Champion, CM Punk was met with a fan who told him he’d “land himself in wrestler’s court” for stealing the Millennial Cowboy’s gimmick.

Punk spared no punches when hitting back at the fan and making it known that he finds Wrestler’s Court to be an embarrassment to the business of professional wrestling.

“Wrestler court was the most insecure small d*ck energy average white man embarrassment to the wrestling business shit of all time.”

Considering CM Punk’s wording, it’s interesting that one of the most infamous cases of Wrestler’s Court concerns former SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long being put on trial for being a cheapskate, selling Viagra pills that he got for free.

Mean Street Posse member and former WWE Superstar Pete Gas relived witnessing Long’s trial on an episode of Stories With Brisco and Bradshaw. JBL was often the prosecution in these proceedings, but usual judge The Undertaker was replaced on this occasion by Triple H.

“I believe the charges were not cheapskate, it was cheap motherf*cker [laughs]. I remember it was like a court setting but we had desks for some reason in this one room. I remember having a spit cup and some tobacco and Kurt Angle was next to me and we laughed so hard, we were holding each other up at one point.”

“So the charges came up and Hunter [Triple H] told you [JBL] and you stood up, Hunter was papa, the godfather and he was standing there with his arms crossed all very official-like. You got up and said there were times when you go through a toll and [Teddy Long] would make like he’s fumbling through his pockets and then the money would come out when you’re already 20 yards past the toll. There was all these different charges but the official one was that he was a cheap mother f*cker.”

“All the charges came out and we’re all laughing, the place was packed to the gills. I remember Hunter said after all the evidence was brought up, he turned to me and goes ‘Well Teddy, you’re pretty much f*cked.’ He said ‘You have anything to say for yourself?’ […] Teddy goes ‘Your honour, I’d like to call a character witness – Mae Young.’ And that alone got the crowd to pop. She comes walking up and she says ‘I don’t understand you wrestlers with your big d*cks needing that Niagara’ and the place went nuts!

“The final verdict was he had to give you guys chicken and I don’t know how many cases of beer.”

JBL confirmed that he and long time tag team partner who rode with Long were entitled to buckets of chicken and a lot of beer after the sentence was passed by The Game.

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