Aliens and wrestling never seem to gel well together, but why? The truth is out there!
Pro-Wrestling is pure entertainment, and as such, it can be inspired by all sorts of genres.
Catchphrase-spouting action heroes take on nefarious, dastardly villains. Evil horror icons lurk in the shadows to prey on the innocent. Comedy duos go on wacky adventures. Even superheroes seem to have had a successful history inside the squared circle.
But for some reason, science fiction doesn’t seem to translate well to the mat.
In a world where fans cheer deadmen walking and sock puppets talking, why do space men and women seem to be one step too far?
It’s time to open up the past case files and investigate four out-of-this-world instances that may be from beyond the stars, yet somehow couldn’t get over….
Max Moon
After watching a Japanese anime that featured a robot with jet packs and rocket launchers, Konnan had a vision! And that vision would become Maximillion Moon!
Billed from outer space, Moon would fire pyro into the audience using wrist launchers, fly up into the ring with his trusty back rocket and confuse his opponents with his high-flying, spinning action.
At least that was the intent. The reality was a few bursts of fire paper and streamers, an embarrassing hop up the ring steps while steam spouted from his derriere (if the “jet pack” was working), and a few roly-polies here and there.
Konnan, who at the time was a young up-and-comer, prevented himself from being a down-and-goer by ditching the gimmick and the WWF after only a handful of matches in the guise (under the name “The Comet Kid”) so he could cement his legacy elsewhere.
Paul Diamond picked up the cursed character and would continue to awkwardly jump his way into the ring and forward roll the character into obscurity.
Planet Stasiak
Poor old Shawn Stasiak. After a few awful gimmicks in WWF, including “Meat,” he would jump ship to WCW his most famous gimmick being that of a Mr. Perfect copycat.
He would return to WWF as part of the invasion angle, and when that anti-climatic dust had settled, it was time for Shawn to finally shine. With another awful role.
Hailing from The Planet Stasiak, Shawn would start acting like a loon, hearing voices in his head and generally being a wacky son of a gun.
Probably inspired by the movie K-Pax, that was released the previous year, was Stasiak really from out of space, or just insane? Probably the latter, but according to the man himself, there were big plans ahead, including an epic entrance.
Shawn would be shown flying around in a spaceship, before the camera would show an aerial view of whatever arena he was fighting in, then land making his way out to the crowd.
Sadly Stasiak was let go before this could ever come into fruition, which is a shame because, in all honesty, the character was good fun, Stasiak did a good job portraying it and could potentially become one of the all-time great comedy gimmicks if it were given more of a chance.
Kris Statlander
When Kris Statlander joined AEW in late 2019, she brought her Alien gimmick along with her, which she created on account of growing up as a massive science geek.
With a half-painted green face, Kris was billed from The Andromeda Galaxy and had the nickname of The Galaxy’s Greatest Alien.
The gimmick wasn’t particularly awful. It’s not like she came out with a colander on her head and a ray gun or, god forbid, spend her time doing roly-polies around the ring.
However, the most “alien-y” thing she did was give her opponents a little boop on the nose with her ET finger.
Still, Statlander decided to drop the gimmick in 2022, a choice of her own as she told Steel Chair Magazine
“Presenting myself differently was something that I wanted to do, it was 100 percent my decision. I felt like as many opportunities as I may have been getting, I was never really being fully taken seriously.
I wasn’t sure what was holding me back, maybe it was because I was too fun, too lovable, I guess, too goofy and easy-going. As I said, I know my potential and I know how much more I have to offer.”
It was a choice that looked close to paying off, as there were big plans for her before sadly suffering an injury and being put on the shelf for a few months.
However, as we all know, everyone loves a comeback, and hopefully, it will give her enough momentum to swing her career in a new direction.
ECW On SyFy
When it was announced that the relaunch of the almighty ECW was to debut on the newly rechristened SyFy (it was known as The Sci-Fi Channel before the rebrand) WWE fans scratched their heads.
Wrestling has always been presented as a live sports show, even if it is sports entertainment, so leaving a locker room with the jocks to go play in the break room with the geeks just felt off, even if it was closer to the majority of the demographic.
WWE found justification that their larger-than-life characters would be a perfect fit for the wacky weirdness of the network, but apparently, that wasn’t the case.
ScyFy wanted a few alien-themed wrestlers on the show. Vince McMahon thought the idea was tacky, so booked an alien to be beaten within an inch of its life by The Sandman. Syfy got wind of this and apparently, this was the reason for the last-minute change to “The Zombie.”
One week later on Raw, after receiving a chicken from a deliveryman on behalf of DX (don’t ask) Vince walked out of his office where his signature strut was mimicked by an alien. Not amused, Vince stared the Alien down and the rubber masked fella wandered off.
This was no doubt a nod to McMahon’s contempt for SyFy’s alien malarkey, but in all fairness that part of the segment has aged better than DX’s insistence that Vince loves….well, you know.
So there are many reasons aliens don’t seem to do well in wrestling. Lack of budget being unable to fulfil visions crowd not taking characters seriously enough, or Vince just straight up hating them.
With Mr. McMahon now out of the picture, maybe it’s time for his chicken-sending son-in-law to gear up a new faction of alien invaders. The New Outer World Order or D Generation Extra Territorials!
Then again, maybe not.